Having been hopeless, anxious and depressed for over 10 years thanks to opioid addiction, I can tell you exactly what happens when you don’t take action against your addiction. In short, life absolutely sucks. That’s because opioids are like a chameleon in the way they trick your brain into thinking things are okay.

Living Day to Day with Addiction (ie: Living in Hell)
If you’ve ever been to the dentist to get a cavity filled, then you know the discomfort that happens when your tooth is being drilled. There’s nothing normal about having a power tool in your mouth, chipping away at tooth enamel. It’s noisy, painful, uncomfortable and for me, totally agonizing. Most anytime I go to the dentist I nearly rip the armrest off the chair due to gripping it so hard. And, I sweat. Not a little, but a lot. Like I’ve just run a marathon.

It’s in those moments of discomfort that it feels like time has stopped. Seconds feel like minutes, and minute like hours. I can’t wait until it’s over so I can get on with my life.

Living addicted is the same thing as having your teeth drilled at the dentist. Your in agony, depressed, angry, needy, anxious, and most of all, hopeless. All the while, waiting for it to be over so you can move on with your life. That’s the illusion opioids give you – that life is going to get better, things are okay. Addiction made me feel like my life had stopped. All the joy of living, interacting with friends and family and doing the things I love most all vanished. I just didn’t care about anything but having enough drugs.

That’s the illusion opioids give you – that life is going to get better, things are okay.

I remember my wife and I were watching the Travel channel one Sunday. The episode was all about the best theme parks in the USA. It looked so fun. I imagined taking her and my son to some of the parks and how much fun we’d have. Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that was never going to happen. Leaving town meant not being able to get more pills. Running out. Going into withdrawal while on vacation. Yes, that happened more than once, too. We ended not one but two vacations with me in full withdrawal navigating the airport and various flights home. Sweating, shaking, unable to function normally do to having the shakes.

All I could think about was “as soon as we get home I’m finding some pills.” Upon returning home from a vacation with my wife, we actually drove straight from the airport to Green Hills Pharmacy so I could get my monthly refill. I ran out a couple days before the flight home and ruined what should have been an excellent vacation with my wife. Why she tolerated me while I was addicted, I have no idea. What I do know is that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her. She witnessed the very worst of me, and was supportive the whole time.

Well, almost. Until she finally asked for a divorce. I new it was coming, but again, opioids were telling me that “I can fix this, our marriage isn’t that bad. I’m only hurting myself, not anyone else.” I can tell you now that was complete BS. I was hurting everyone – My wife, my son, my dad, my brother, and even the one friend I still had left. He eventually abandoned me too, since I had abandoned him long ago. I wanted to be alone with my drugs. Isolation was the best remedy best for me since I thought I needed no one but me.

It was like I had died, and no one came to my funeral.

Life stayed that way for over 13 years for me. 6 of them I was married. My wife and I were able to make amends and stay married. It took years of love, kindness, attention, mindfulness and couples therapy to fix our marriage, and it’s still a work in progress. To think, I almost lost the woman of my dreams and my son for what? Pills. Opioids. That’s what opioids do to your brain.

The good news is, life does get better, like WAY BETTER when you tackle your addiction. I dabbled with getting clean many times along the way. but I was scared shitless of withdrawals & cravings. I honestly believed at one point that there was no way I could ever live without taking pain pills. That was the six months before I began treatment when I finally decided I was either going to get clean or end my life. Can you imagine? I was willing to end my life, leave my wife and son permanently just so I could escape addiction. That’s how bad addiction gets.

I was willing to end my life, leave my wife and son permanently just so I could escape addiction.

You Need a New Plan for Living to Overcome Addiction – And, It’s Right Here

What took me years to figure out using trial and error can now be gotten right here, right now with just a click. Addicts need a roadmap to get clean, change their life and begin new habits (simple habits) in order to remain clean for the rest of their life.

About 5 years into my sobriety I decided to create a map – a simple, step by step plan that anyone can use to get clean and stay clean.

4 Hacks to Getting Clean and Staying Clean for Life Book Nashville Suboxone Recovery 600x600

The 4 Hacks to Getting Clean - A simple step by step plan to overcome addiction and change your life for the better.

Please, if you or someone you know is addicted, share this map with them. It’s a short book I wrote titled, “The 4 Hacks to Getting Clean and Staying Clean for Life“. It’s 100% FREE and you can download it right now by entering your email below.

I’ll send you only one email (no more) with a link to download your free copy and that’s the last you’ll hear from me.

I sincerely want to help you. My contact information is provided in the email and I’m happy to assist anyone who’s struggling with addiction by phone, email or text.

Who is The 4 Hacks to Getting Clean Book For?
The 4 Hacks to Getting Clean book is step by step plan for anyone who’s struggling with addiction, chemical dependency, as well as someone with a friend or family member who’s struggling with addiction.

I wish you the best of success in your recovery and hope you’ll use my simple book to create great changes your life, just like it did mine.


Andrew (Drew) Stephen Bourke